Divorce Coaching: A Game Changer for Special Needs Families
Exhausted. Scared. Insecure. Strong. Weak. Mom. Wife.
These are all feelings and identities that go through the minds of women who are struggling with the overwhelm of difficult marriages, especially in families where there are children with special needs. They are asking themselves, should I stay or should I go? And answering, how can I go? They are hearing the echo of their marriage vows - in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. They are wondering how they can stand for themselves when they are so worn out after standing for their special needs child for so long. And they may feel like just curling up in a ball and shutting out the world for a while. But they don’t. Because they have things to do and people to take care of. So they go on. You go on. You are the heroes.
I know something about divorce because I’ve been there. My son was just 7 years old when he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. My husband and I, already married over 11 years, had different ideas on how to manage and live with the disease. We had two younger daughters. We had expectations about what our life would look like that didn’t include chronic illness. To say it strained our marriage would be an understatement. Layered on top of other issues, we were challenged to figure out how to navigate this new life story. It took many years for me to make the decision, but somehow I found the courage to ask for a divorce. It was terrifying. I felt very alone.
Nearly a decade later, I discovered the field of divorce coaching, and it has become my calling. I’m a retired lawyer, working educator and spiritual counselor, and I realized that all that learning was training for the work of walking with clients through the overwhelm of divorce. I empower my clients to clarify their wants and needs, give them confidence to plan strategies to overcome the expected and unexpected obstacles they may encounter, and inspire them to design a future they may never have dreamed of. As moms of children with special needs, you are experts in your child’s needs, but may have forgotten the things that YOU really need. Together, we explore your needs and how you can build the tools to meet them. Together, we grow your communication techniques so you can feel respected and heard when you ask for what you want and need. Together, we create an action plan that you can feel confident in. Together, we build your team of support professionals so that you have the knowledge you need to ensure that you and your special needs child, and the rest of your children, are supported for the rest of their lives.
Coaching can be essential support at every stage of the process - at the earliest, “should I stay or should I go” phase, at the heart breaking blindsided phase, deep in the midst of the ugly legal process phase, and after, when they are finally free, trying out a new identity that may both challenge them and offer unexplored possibilities that were never imagined before.
My clients say that working with me helps them feel more aligned with their souls and connected to their purpose. From a tangible standpoint, they are more organized, prepared and in control. They breathe more easily, and they cut the time spent in the legal weeds which significantly reduces both the emotional and financial costs of divorce. Our work is so powerful that some of my clients choose to stay in their marriage living a richer, happier, and more authentic life. They find that small pattern shifts result in big behavioral changes that remind them of why they got married in the first place.
If you are curious and want to know more about my practice - either for yourself, a friend, relative, co-worker or someone else you know, please reach out at lisa@lzlcoaching.com. I offer free 30 minute discovery sessions here. You can learn more at www.lzlcoaching.com.
